10 ways to stay super-cool in your officePosted on - August 31, 2017
Summer’s here and the time is right for dancing in the street.
Well that may be so — but we remember the video for Mick and David’s version of that song and to be honest we’re not sure it’s the best idea. Certainly not in those trousers anyway…
However — when the sun beats down and melts the tiles right off the roof …
Sorry – we’ve done it again.
‘Under the Boardwalk’.
What we’re trying to say is, during the summer months, when the sun is at its strongest, some working environments get incredibly uncomfortable, hot, sticky and downright unpleasant.
You’re longing for dress down Friday or whatever because for the rest of the week — to make matters worse — you STILL have to wear a suit and tie.
In the enlightened 21st century when even your accountant has a sneaky tattoo and flexible working is a proper ‘thing’ (rather than a half-arsed excuse for a duvet day).
So — what can you do to keep cool in the office?
We’ve been in the solar control game for 50 years so know a thing or two, and set a team of our best people the task of finding 10 ways to stay cool at work.
So you don’t have to.
I know, right?
We’re just nice like that.
TURN THE AIR CON UP TO 11
But — effective. Get whoever manages your air-con to turn that baby all the way up and break off the dial.
If 10 is maximum then you want it one more colder.
You want it the colderist-ist possible.
Tell them you want it so cold that Antarctic explorers — if for some reason visiting your premises – will be running for the door for fear of frostbite.
Polar bears need to call at reception to collect their complementary cardigans.
Tell them you want it even colder than a cold thing.
STAY AT HOME
A bit out of left field this one.
Rather than enduring the stifling heat of your oppressive office oven — just don’t turn up at work at all.
Your boss can hardly complain. If he/she/they/it hasn’t got the common decency to ensure all employees have optimum working conditions, then they only have themselves to blame.
Research shows how productivity drops dramatically when temperatures soar- and accidents increase. So — in fact it’s counter-productive to make people work in an office that’s just too hot anyway.
You’re better off at home.
You can do your emails and phone calls and business and stuff there instead.
If you struggle for self-motivation – watch Jeremy Kyle.
Let’s face it — after 5 minutes of that you’ll be happy to do literally anything else.
BUILD A TIME-MACHINE
A brilliant solution to the problem of heat and glare in your workplace.
Simply design and build a working state-of-the-art time machine, jump in and send yourself back to sometime earlier (or later) when the weather and temperatures were more agreeable.
We built one ourselves from and old sofa, some copper piping and a few lengths of 4 x2 we found in a skip.
Works a dream.
Well — it doesn’t exactly allow you to time travel – but if you get the angle right you can watch the cricket on the big screen in the pub opposite. Which doesn’t affect the temperature – but is cool. And you can still be back in time (lol) for that important sales meeting (assuming they’ve managed to avoid the follow-on)…
If you’re having problems with your time machine just go forward in time to when they will be commonplace and steal one of those.
If its working well you could just jump a week, write down the winning lottery numbers, jump back — and — hey —presto! Pack in your job.
No more ‘hot in the office’ just ‘hot on the yacht in the Mediterranean with the super model’.
GET A NEW JOB
Straight to the point.
If it’s too hot in your office — move to one that’s cooler!
Honestly — come on — you hate this job, right?
How long have you worked there now?
And they STILL haven’t realized how awesome you are!?
You’re hot, bothered and just not taking it anymore.
Hand in your notice, tell the boss it’s been lovely but you need to ‘find yourself’.
You need space to grow.
Experience more of life.
Mix-it-up a little.
Go for that job at the florists.
B&Q are hiring.
Maybe a paper-round or something?
Shelf stacking at Morrisons doesn’t pay much- but it has wicked air-con…
SOME SORT OF FAN
One of Kevin’s ideas.
We know – duh – but he’s been really good recently, so we didn’t want to upset him.
Basically the idea is you get some sort of fan.
That’s about it.
Quite big we’d imagine.
And turn it on.
Obviously it’s not going to make things much cooler just sitting there.
No — we’re pretty sure it’ll need turning on.
Nice one kev.
DEVELOP YOUR OWN IN-OFFICE WEATHER SYSTEM
Tricky, for sure.
Complicated — technical – but easy for people as talented and clever as you undoubtedly are (we know this to be true by the fact you are visiting our blog — which immediately indicates an enhanced level IQ).
As the outside temperature rises and the summer sun starts to blaze through your office windows — turn the operating dial to the ‘a-bit-cloudy’ icon and wait.
Thin strands of Cirrus then Cumulus and Cumulonimbus start to generate over head in the conference room or gents toilets or wherever — no rain — but enough fluffy cloud to obscure the sun and keep the room temperature perfect.
Double whammy this one as it’s an all year round winner!
During the winter months simply turn the dial to the ‘sunny’ icon, and stay nice and toastie in November.
WEAR LESS CLOTHING
Marks idea (obviously).
Having been championing the ‘Mankini Mondays’ concept at Winnersh for a while now (frankly we thought it had been abandoned at the last brainstorming meeting — but there he is every Monday. He swears it was agreed…) Mark’s thinking is to expand that to deal with workplace-heat issues.
He’s come up with a sort of crib sheet of how much/little to wear Vs temperature as an ‘easy guide’ for work mates.
Its really hot today – and both Nick and Peter are in the office — so, fairly disturbing stuff for any casual observer.
Be worse tomorrow — even hotter.
Maybe this idea is not for everyone…
Not really a solution as such — more of a way of distracting yourself during the hotter parts of the day.
Two teams — each works hard all morning, then at tea-break both teams have to try to work out what film/book/play the other is thinking of by the shape of the sweat marks on their chair. Then go again at afternoon break.
Lynn’s ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ was awesome (that’s the Shakespeare thing with the character ‘Bottom’ in it…).
Don’s ‘Back to the Future’ was inspired. DeLorean door wings and everything.
Works best with leather or PVC chairs.
We don’t recommend any fabric furniture be used for obvious reasons.
Made that mistake before.
No one ever wants to sit in the ‘Trainspotting’ seat.
Pretty much rendered that unusable. …
EMBRACE THE INEVITABLE
Its crazy hot.
Like — Amazon-forest-Sahara-desert type hot.
Your office is absolutely roasting.
Embrace the status quo.
Get a deck chair to replace your swivel seat (especially if it’s a fabric one and you’ve already accidentally tried No:3 with), wear your swim shorts, stick your feet in a paddling pool and grab your laptop.
You my friend are going to tackle this hot-weather-in the-workplace-thing like a boss.
Sip regularly from a non-alcoholic cocktail, hanky on head whilst looking at your inbox through designer shades.
What is all the fuss about?
INSTALL WINDOW FILM FROM DURABLE
Finally — we have a winner!
All that total nonsense before really does show how mad things can get when your office, workplace, warehouse, factory or school get way too hot.
The (genuine) simple, efficient and cost-effective solution is solar control window film, professionally installed by Durable.
Quick and easy to fit and maintain it really is a no-brainer for keeping cool in the office.